[once he’s punched out of his job in the employ of notoriously powerful rat, Charles “Entertainment” Cheese, contributing writer and amateur animatronics exorcist marrrrrrr likes to relax with a quick snack and an homage to b-horrors to ensure he has entertaining, if not entirely upbeat, dreams. this is Midnight Movies.]
film: Willy’s Wonderland (2021)
food: [popcorn emoji]
pre-game: this spooktober’s “deranged nicolas cage movie”™ suggestion comes courtesy of friend to tburso.com, her royal high-ness: 420KweenJennn. cage plays a guy taking on deadly animatronic robots in a “family entertainment center.” been waiting for the right time of year for this. he looks in fine form from the trailer, so am braced and excited.
post-game: maybe the best piece of information that could determine whether or not you might enjoy Willy’s Wonderland is to know that one of the producers (Grant Cramer) was also the lead actor in the spectacularly cheesy cult classic horror Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988). similar to Klowns, Willy’s Wonderland (dir: Kevin Lewis) firmly plants its feet in schlock-y z-horror homage territory and refuses to lean an inch in any other direction. this is a movie that promises Nicolas Cage waging war against a bunch of animatronic puppets and delivers completely, and nearly exclusively, on that front. some viewers will be disappointed by the lack of challenges or surprise, but there’s something be said for entertainment that knows exactly what it’s trying to accomplish.
Nicolas Cage stars as the completely silent and unnamed protagonist (credited only as The Janitor), a drifter who agrees to clean up the titular family venue over the course of a single night in exchange for new tires after he runs over the local sheriff’s “misplaced” spike strip outside of town. it comes as no surprise when this is later revealed as a ruse to trap him inside the entertainment center, but The Janitor, hard-boiled hero that he is, doesn’t seem to mind. he is determined to finish the job he signed up for. he throws on a “staff” t-shirt, grabs bucket and mop, and sets to work. and, when the first puppet approaches him with menacing intent, he treats it as a nuisance more than anything, and dispatches it just as easily.
things escalate from there, particularly after a group of teenagers intent on burning the establishment down get involved. the only relevant one is named Liv (Emily Tosta) who is seeking revenge for what Willy Weasel and pals did to her parents years ago. the rest of the teens might as well be named “Cannon Fodder #1-5,” and exist purely to make horrible decisions (up to and including having sex in front of one of the robots that they know is murderous).
there is a cursory explanation given for why the animatronics are on a killing spree (it involves serial killers and satanic rituals), but it’s not terribly relevant. similarly, there’s no use in really questioning any of the characters’ actions because logic has no purpose here. why do the puppets only attack one at a time? how do they keep inexplicably appearing out of thin air? why are the teenagers not more cautious knowing their lives are at stake? why do the humans that know about the robots not do more to stop them, or, in some cases, actively help the robots even after The Janitor has already destroyed most of them? it doesn’t matter. tight plotting and characterization are not the main attractions at Willy’s Wonderland.
even The Janitor, whose aloof attitude about the whole affair is both the source of most of the comedy and a potential hint from the filmmakers about how to enjoy the movie, doesn’t bother to muster the energy to question anything. he cleans, he beats up a robot, and then he cleans up the resulting mess. and, every few hours, he takes a scheduled break to drink a soda and play some pinball on a machine he uncovered in the kitchen, culminating in probably the best scene in the movie: a pinball-playing dance-break (allegedly improvised by Cage himself) set to the title song by film’s composer Émoi.
for a horror, nothing is terribly scary. there’s a jump scare or two and a brief strobe light sequence (spooktober is turning into a popular month for photosensitivity warnings) that’s slightly creepy, but not much that will keep most horror fans up at night. similarly, the actual fight scenes between Cage and the puppets are serviceable, if not particularly revelatory. the bathroom rumble between The Janitor and Gus Gorilla is the most intricately choreographed. most of the rest, barring the final showdown with Willy Weasel, are over in a couple minutes and not especially memorable. but, this also isn’t a superhero blockbuster. it’s intentional genre “trash” made on a comparatively miniscule budget.
in a lot of ways Willy’s Wonderland can be compared to the food you might find there or at a similar establishment. the pizza’s a little too cheesy, and the consistency is a little dicey, but, as the saying goes: there’s no such thing as bad pizza.
rating: candied apples are sticky, overly sweet, unhealthy, and a pain on the teeth. but, at the right time of year, they make a perfect treat.
