[after dabbing out the sauce bloodstains in his clothes with a detergent pen, contributing writer and tabletop rpg assassin marrrrrrr prefers to unwind by cooking an easy meal for one, grabbing his cu...
[every couple of nights, once he’s finished shower-crying over the nature of humanity, contributing writer and “miserable little pile of secrets” marrrrrrr likes to prepare a classic...
[after a particularly epic masturbatory emission, contributing writer and sexual deviant marrrrrrrr cools off by making a small meal and watching a sex comedy to, you know, keep the engine running. th...
[after every failed coup attempt against the fascists at the local chipotle, contributing writer and “free guac” revolutionary marrrrrrr sits down to prepare a sad, sad, guacamole-less mea...
[once every election cycle, contributing writer and political junkie marrrrrrr makes an economically viable meal and sets aside the perpetually absurd theatre of politics to enjoy the occasionally abs...
[occasionally, if he’s had a particularly successful night of preying on small rodents, contributing writer and local night-owl marrrrrrr swoops down toward the local drive-in to rest his wings ...
[after narrowly escaping the 5-0 when his plan of sticking up a taco truck by jutting a finger into the pocket of his hoodie goes horribly awry, contributing writer and wannabe gangster marrrrrrr like...